With the lawyer's clerk there was no more self-delusion; she had finished with that. She was the experienced one here. Superficially she may appear to have been living in a world of dreams, with her coloured scarves, and what not; but that is only because she was not conforming to conventional behaviour. In her relationship with her lover there were no illusions. It was just a sensual orgy, which towards the end was tinged with the unearthly fire of depraved lust. Throughout it all she remained very human; and the velvet curtains and other trappings were her way of expressing her belief that when two people find each other, it is not just a dirty backstairs intrigue as convention would label it; it is a moment of monumental importance. I think she was right; even when it is in depravity, it is an occasion of monumental importance when two people find each other. Even if they lose each other the next moment, nothing can alter the fact through all eternity that they did find each other.
But Emma was right about one other thing too; that if husband and wife ever become one, (perhaps they never do, perhaps the theory that they do is pure illusion and self-deception), but if they do, then it must be in the dark mysterious world of the spirit. She knew she would never be one with her husband, if she lived to be a thousand. He was too much wrapped up in himself, and his love for her, ever to bother himself about the yearnings of her spirit. If only he had tried; if only occasionally he had tried to make their marriage and friendship the communion of two souls, she might have been content to be with him, and found herself able to love him. But he never did; he was always too engrossed, too lost in the everyday affairs of life. Nor would it have done any good if she had thrown away her dreams. When she did momentarily, she tended to become a slut. She no longer had any purpose in life. It is always dangerous for human beings to throw away their dreams. Even when they are behaving badly, human beings are not animals; and the dull…