Now for spiritual marriage. But before I give even an outline, I must explain enough to enable the reader to understand something of what the problem is all about, and furthermore explain at least a few of the difficulties inherent in it. Just as divorce really means the severing or ending of any relationship, and divorce of husband and wife is only a particular example; so marriage really means the formation or growth of any lasting friendship, and the marriage of man and woman as husband and wife is only a particular example. The reason why marriage between husband and wife is regarded by conventional thought as being quite different from friendship is because most conventionally minded people cynically assume that friendships do not last - do not last a lifetime - and cynically conclude that one may as well get what one can out of them while the going is good; see Chapter 11. But this is not necessarily so. Marriage may be a very special type of friendship; but it is friendship amongst other things. At least if it isn't friendship as well as the other things, it is soon on the rocks. The problem therefore in its most general form is about the formation of all true friendships.

It is idle to pretend that friendship always withstands the vicissitudes of…