maybe only a few. But a word of warning is necessary. Some men undoubtedly cope with the situation at home by putting their wives first, and God second. This is common sense for the atheist, because he does not believe that God exists; but it is blasphemy for the Christian. How can a man honestly put a woman before the person whom he is supposed to love with all his heart, all his soul, and all his strength? He cannot, without at the very least getting his priorities hopelessly wrong. To put a woman first, a man has either to deny his love of God, or to water it down to the point of apathy. On the other hand, what woman would tolerate anyone taking precedence over her in her own home? What girl is going to tolerate her lover admitting he puts someone else first; she would say, “You're very sweet honey, but you can buzz off till you have learnt some manners”. So I hope the reader is at last beginning to understand the size of the problem. It is not an academic exercise; it goes to the roots of human nature. I do not reckon that for the Christian to put his wife first (because she will mind), and God second (because he thinks he will not mind) is any solution to the problem either.
The only two people I have read about who seem to have tackled the problem with any degree of awareness are Augustine, and Peter Abelard. Augustine never got beyond the preliminary steps. As far as I can remember, he was living with a woman whom he had picked off the streets, when his conscience started to have qualms. So he sent the woman back onto the streets, which never seemed to me a particularly kind or considerate thing to do; and got engaged to a nice respectable girl instead. But he could not wait; so he started living with a second concubine. He does not relate, so far as I can remember, what the nice respectable girl, or her parents, thought of these goings on. However, as so often happens with people who only think of themselves, his conscience rebelled. And no wonder! His description of his serenity, and peace…