remember to respect each other, and so help prevent their affection becoming prematurely swamped by mutual attraction. The penalty may be that the relationship never soars to any great heights; but it may. Even if it does not, this may be better than a pathetic Romeo and Juliet, with too little wisdom to keep apart when the social divisions seem so formidable, and one of them with too little courage or strength of character to trust in the other and defy the organisation of society which is essentially hostile to the affections. The courage of one does not make up for the lack of it in the other. Again there is nothing one can do about it.
No doubt the ideal is when love is seen manifestly to shine through the whole relationship, and make it radiant. But legends of folk-lore and literature suggest that great love is consummated in marriage, only if it has great trials beforehand. For example: the legend of Culwych and 0lwen. How often does this happen in suburbia? Never, if the lovers fail to see the personality of the other, so as to desire that it flowers to perfection. Oscar Wilde was almost right when he said in the Ballad of Reading Gaol that men kill what they love. Generally they do, without in the least meaning to. When lovers respect each other's flesh, but miss the personality of the other, they kill the other, the beloved, without in the least meaning to.
One ought not to miss the personality of the other. It is visible to the naked eye. As Spenser said, “Soul is form and doth the body make”. The Church of England teaches, “I am a soul; I have a body”. In more modern language, soul is the spirit companion of the flesh; the two are one. If you can see the one, you ought to be able to see the other, in every word and gesture.
One uses this vision of a man's soul in the Law Courts, to decide which questions it is prudent to ask. For instance, in a charge of wounding, the facts may be that the victim and his mates sought out the accused to beat him up, only to find him armed with a knife, and ended up getting the worst of it. The…