It is not part of ourselves; not part of our true selves. When we meet someone who “rubs us up the wrong way” (e.g. a snob, or if you are a snob yourself, e.g. a person who isn't a snob), we tend to be contrary and difficult; we do not lay bare our souls or express our real opinions; we conceal these, and express opinions to which at the most we pay lip-service, in the hope of wounding or humiliating the object of our dislike. We all do it; it seldom works. But the point is that we put on a display. We are not being genuine people. We are not being our true selves. One is most nearly one's true self when one is among friends, whom one can trust sufficiently not to tread underfoot one's most treasured thoughts and beliefs. Then one dares to express some of them.
Our reaction to people is not then in general part of our true selves. Of course in a sense it is part of ourselves, just as our vices are part of ourselves. Probably it is best to regard it as a “temporary” part of ourselves. But except in the rare instance of your response to people you trust, your reaction to people is not part of your true self.
It can be analysed, as I shall proceed to show. People are attracted to each other because of some common virtue, or some common interest, or because of some common weakness or vice. Even when two people are attracted to each other, and the age difference seems to rule out any real common interest, they will at least have something in common, even if it is only the same cheerful, impudent attitude to life. You never get people attracted to each other for no reason at all.
When the mutual attraction is due to a common virtue or interest, one may be almost unaware of the reason, and simply sense that one likes the person. It is unusual to analyse one's friends, and the Frenchman who fell in love, with his hand on his pulse to see if it beat faster, is an exception. On the…